15 questions to ask before marriage, according to Dubai expert

Picture for illustrative purposes only.

PHOTO BY ARCHIVE

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Getting married? 15 questions to ask your partner before saying I do

Marriage is a serious partnership, but it takes two people to commit to making the partnership work. How do you know if your partner is truly onboard?

Dubai-based life coach and public speaker Noor Al Huda says, “There is definitely a lot more questions you have to ask and so much more to discuss.”

“If any of his answers made you feel uncomfortable or gave you an unsettled feeling in your gut, first process why his answers made you feel that way. Then come back and bring it up at a later time. Ask more questions to get more clarity. Do not ignore your gut feeling,” Al Huda says.

If you are thinking of getting married, Al Huda shares the 15 questions you “should not skip” and must talk through openly and honestly:

What are the things you need and things you can’t  live with?

“Let him describe as much as he wants, personality wise and even physically,” Al Huda suggests. This question is about knowing and respecting your partner’s expectations on intimacy and what makes them happy.

How did you family solve problems at home?

How do you like to deal with conflict in general?

Loud fights and screams, calm discussions or silent shutdowns? If he or she says it depends on the conflict, ask for an example,” Al Huda says. How your family deals with conflict often becomes our default mode for handling them. Your marriage will depend on how well you will resolve conflicts.”

When we have kids, will you change diapers?

How do you feel about helping with cooking and cleaning?

According to research, the happiest marriage is when couples share life responsibilities equally. These questions come down to whether you both on the same page when it comes to being active co-creators in your relationship.

What is your current situation financially?

Is my debt your debt?

Does your spouse expect you to buy groceries from you money? What are his or her financial goals and how would he or she achieve them? Talk openly about what money means to each of you.

Why did your relationship with your ex end? What did it help you realize about relationships in general?

How your partner speaks and thinks about previous relationships is a good indication of their relationship skills.

How important is religion to you?

Lack of compatibility in religion can sometimes cause marriages to break. “Ask more about his beliefs,” Al Huda says.

How would you feel about me traveling without you?

It is often a red flag if your partner doesn’t want you to have autonomy. While you need to connect with your partner, it is also important to have autonomy. Find a balance.

What is the way you need to receive and show love?

Understand how your partner views romance and see if it alights with your values. “Let him take the 5 love languages test on the internet,” Al Huda suggests.

What is something about me that concerns you?

This question can let you learn about yourself and allow you an your partner to give honest feedback about difficult topics.

What are the boundaries that you expect us to place with both our families?

Determining the role that your extended families play in decisions and how involved they will be once you are married is an important factor to know.

Do you like to spend more time at home or outside the home? How?

Even if you have been dating for years, you want to make sure you are on the same page about family time.

What does cheating mean to you?

Be honest about your feelings on adultery. It is important to establish the boundaries around your relationship, as well as the consequences of cheating.

ICA/Expat Media

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